Friday, September 5, 2008

Unescapable Lyrics

Hello my wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ. It's been a while since I had a post I realize, but I've been going through a lot and just haven't been able to get it written out to ya'll. I've moved to a new city, a new state, have a new apartment, have a new job, have new places to visit and new issues to address; BUT there are also some old issues that have been being worked out of me. It's been difficult, painful, frustrating, angering, joyful, tearful and everything else that could ever be felt.

2008, the year of new beginnings. The thing I've learned about new beginnings is that you have to till first. Old stuff has to be moved out of the way before you can have something new. It's like planting a garden in the spring. You have to cut back the old rotted plants from last growing season and till the earth until it's soft and easy to work with before you can put something new into it. It's the same thing with our spirits, especially mine at the moment. I've been tilled and broken apart and watered and then tilled and broken some more. My spiritual ground was rock hard and the rocks and weeds had to come out so the new seeds can be planted. My pastor keeps preaching how September is going to be the month of teshuva, or turning in Hebrew. It means turning back to God and was often used in the prophetic books to call Israel back to the Lord. With returning to Him comes blessings and new things. September is also a month of birthing as the ninth month and is also a month of judgement as the ninth month. So... a whole lot is supposed to happen this month and I can feel it as well as my wonderful friend with the battered Bible mentioned in a previous blog. With all of that said, I have to share that I have this song plaguing me. Almost every time I turn on the radio I hear this song and it sticks in my head for days and I can't escape it. It's called "Hope Now" by Addison Road. Maybe you've heard it. I've put the lyrics below so maybe you can help me figure out why I keep hearing it.

The other thing that keeps sticking in my head is part of a song by Brandon Heath called "Don't Get Comfortable." The part stuck in my head goes like this: "Comfortable. Don't get comfortable, I'm going to move this mountain then I'm going to move you in." I know that it's the Holy Spirit singing it to me, but I wish I knew what mountain He is going to move because I feel like I have a whole lot of mountains that need to move.

If you get a chance to listen to either of these songs, I highly recommend doing so. Maybe you can let me know why they won't leave my head.

Blessings to you all!
Jess

"Only Hope" by Addison Road
If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours
(PRE-CHORUS)
I'm not my own
I've been carried by You All my life
(CHORUS)
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm
(PRE-CHORUS)
I'm not my own
I've been carried by You All my life
(CHORUS)
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
(CHORUS 2)
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free
You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Pretty Awesome Deal

Matthew 21:12 says, "Then Jesus went into the temple of God and drove out all those who bought and sold in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves" (NKJV).

It's interesting to me that this is also how Jesus fixes the issues within you. I was reading a lot of interrelated and not related stuff today that started to make sense to me after a minute. Hopefully you can follow me. I started with Matthew 9:25, which says, "But when the crowd was put outside, He went in and took her by the hand and the girl arose." I loved it! God will come in and take your hand and you'll come up from you death bed. Often when we're going through issues in life we think we're in that valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:4), but God will guide us through it. Even when the world says that you're as good as dead, Jesus knows better because He sees past this moment when you're in the valley. He pushes the world away from you, which is why when we are in a period of trial we are often isolated, so that He can work on us and lift us out and no one can say it was anyone but Him.

There are other times that Jesus took someone by the hand and lifted them out from their place that was like death. Matthew 8:3, Matthew 8:15, Mark 1:31, Matthew 9:29-30, and Matthew 14:31. However, when Christ comes into your life, you need to be ready for Him to shake some stuff up and break some stuff. He's going to heal your hurt, sickness, pain, etc. and bring you up, but just like after you have the flu, you need to clean house. When Christ cleans house in the temple that is you, some of that stuff is going to be broken. Most likely you've built walls here and there that you think will help keep your temple ceiling up, but in Matthew 24:1-2, Jesus said all of the stones making the walls will come down. No question about it, those walls are going to break. Well, when something breaks, a bunch of pieces are going to be left and they can't stay there. You've got to sweep them away or they'll just collect and turn into a big mess and probably hurt your feet, plus you can't be walking around like a big mess on the inside. If you're a big old mess, you won't be able to function in your purpose correctly or move forward because you'll just keep tripping on the pieces and getting hurt all over again. You've got to sweep those pieces out. How? You've got to praise them out. Praise the broken pieces of your past issues out of your life.

You've got some major construction and renovation going on in you all by the hand of Christ. He's got to do some heavy lifting because you're going to get tired of holding those bricks up and pushing them around so just let Him push them out of your life. You cannot do it, at least not alone. Christ doesn't have any heavy issues, I mean He's God. What issues would He have? Anyway, He's willing to trade His lack of issues with you for your mess (Matthew 8:2; 11:29-30) if you are. Sounds like a pretty great deal to me :) In order to take His burden--which is nothing--you have to give Him yours because fighting to hand it over will just cause you to topple. How do you give your issues to Him? Praise, worship, prayer, and fasting. You see the funny thing about trading burdens is that you get a whole lot of awesome things instead like peace, joy, comfort, rest, and hope among other things. Why not try trading?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A Broken Bible

Joshua 1:8 (NKJV) says, "This Book of the Law shall no depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

I have a friend who is just awesome to me. She is about 23-24 years old (her birthday is within the next week) and she has the most worn out Bible I have ever seen-even more so than two of mine. It can't even be called a book anymore. It's just a stack of papers. Every page has writing going every which way on the margins, between the lines, arrows to show which way she was writing, and pieces of paper stuffed between the pages with notes from sermons and messages over the years. That thing is used! She got a new Bible a while back (maybe four to six months ago) and now that thing is about to split out, too. She even got the nice European leather binding, but it's about to go. It is stuffed with notes, writing, reflections, etc. It's a study Bible so at print is was about 1 1/4 inches thick, now with her used it's about 2 1/2 inches thick. That's a lot of notes and use.

You know, she is one of the most blessed people I know. She has a great job, an enviable apartment, a nice car that's only one to two years old (that she got brand new), a good sized savings account, everything a young twenty-something would hope for just a year after graduating college. She has made a resolution to save herself for marriage and tries to avoid men because she doesn't want to be distracted from God; and, she teaches Sunday school to pre-kindergarten and kindergarten kids. Let me tell you, she's got her stuff together and is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet. Now she has tests and trials come her way like the rest of us, but she knows God's promises to her. I have yet to see her fail a test so repeats are not for her. God has shown her how to truly live in a way that can only come from following Him and His word.

I want my new Bible to be as broken as her old one. I got myself a new one in May for my college graduation present to myself. I sold back about four semesters worth of books that were nothing but of the world that caused me to question every aspect of my faith, which happens in college, for a new NKJV Updated MacArthur Study Bible. Although I don't agree with all of the notes in it, especially on the sections about Spiritual gifts, I like it a lot.

My last Bible that I just loved was a NKJV Spirit Filled Life Student Study Bible. That one I used for a good year and praise the Lord I got the leather binding because otherwise it would have been long gone after six months. I don't stuff a lot of notes in my Bibles because then I can't flip through it as fast (and I like to have a pretty journal, lol), but I get on some sticky notes. It is colored to the max (I like to use a few colored pencils to mark my favorite sections--meaning just about everything so it looks like a rainbow inside), but the binding is still intact. I want my new Bible to be just as broken as hers because I want to have success on the level that can only be God that I see in her life. I'm not saying I want her life, but I do want to be as much of a testimony as she is to others like she is to me.

God has been really pressing on my heart about pursuit. I keep praying and asking God for a man to pursue me like none other and the response I keep getting is, "Pursue Me like you want to be pursued." I once heard that one of the New Testament martyrs was on his knees before God so much that his knees had callouses. While I don't want callous on my knees because that's not very attractive in a skirt, I want to have that type of devotion. I want the type of devotion that my friend has in her word. I want all I have to be worn out and broken before God for His glory. I don't want to have the spiritual temperature of even one degree below fire. I want to be so on fire for God and so devoted to His purpose and plan for my life that I have no relation to lukewarm at all. I don't even want that word to be in my vocabulary of description for myself so much so that others won't have that word in theirs either.

I want a broken Bible and, secretly, I want to glow not just in the spirit, but in the flesh. A guy I know is so annointed and so devoted to God that whenever I see him, even just pictures of him, he glows and he's only about 21-22 years old. I want to glow and fall apart in worship at the mention of the name of Jesus :)

First step, break my Bible in...

Monday, May 26, 2008

Are you too salty?

Thanks to you all who prayed for me today. I've come to the conclusion that Kgosi is probably a distraction for me and that I am merely to pray for him. Too many things didn't match up and he is now in a relationship with Karissa, again. A mate should bring you closer to Christ and not farther away, and my mind was drifting so this is a good thing. A little hurtful, but good nonetheless and I know that the one God has for me has got to be so much better that he's McPerfect, lol.

Anyhoo, I have an awesome revelation to share with you. I was listening to a sermon by Paul Washer on faith this evening and he had a comment that sparked my brain. He said that you have the cross before you and the world behind you, don't look back and become salt like Lot's wife. His reference was to meaning to look to God and not to the world, but I got something different. So here's a quick outline of where I'm coming from:

Genesis 19:1-11: Sodom was depraved and fallen (our world today)
Genesis 19:12-29: God sends salvation to Lot and his family, the only righteous found in the city, but there is a command to receive salvation: Flee Sodom (the world) and don't look back (Genesis 19: 17)
Genesis 19:26: Lot's wife looked back and became a pillar of salt

When we come into Christ's salvation, we are to look only to Him and not to the world. Too often when we, Christians, become saved, we look back to the world and become like it again, lukewarm, and/or too salty. We die when we become like it again because then we weren't truly saved. Just because you say a prayer doesn't mean that you're saved. You can say you are all you want, but the reality of your salvation will be seen in your lifestyle; you'll be known by your fruits . Paul says that if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and that God the Father raised him from the dead, then you will be saved (Romans 10:9). You have to believe in your heart to be made right with God and confess to be saved; meaning that your heart has to change and you have to attest to it. This is how we are reconciled to God and if we are sincere about it and truly reconciled, you can't help but change your life and become a different person following God. You know a tree by its fruit (Matthew 12:33). If your fruit (actions & lifestyle) doesn't change, then you haven't been truly saved and changed.

Now then, if we become lukewarm, meaning following the parts of God that are comfortable while still doing what we want to do, we aren't truly saved. There is no gray area with God. You're either saved or not because if you're lukewarm, God will spit you out (Revelation 3:16). If He spits you out, you aren't going to heaven and the only other place left is hell. If you are lukewarm, you are going to hell. Sorry to say it and you're probably mad at me right now, but I'll say it again, if you are lukewarm, you are going to go to hell unless you shape up and serve the Lord as He has commanded: uncompromisingly, shiftlessly, and zealously (Revelation 3:19).

If you are still reading :) the last thing I mentioned in my previous list is becoming too salty. Christians are called to be the salt of the world (Matthew 5:13) and have salt in us (Mark 9:50). So, first off, what is the purpose of salt? It can be used to preserve food, season food, purify water (http://www.saltinstitute.org/), and in the Jewish Law, it was used to season burnt offerings (Leviticus 2:13; Ezekiel 43:24, 25-27). Salt is necessary for all types of body functions (http://www.curezone.com/foods/salt/vital_functions_of_salt_in_the_b.htm), but we also know that too much salt can be a bad thing leading to such things as high blood pressure which can lead to more serious things
like strokes, heart disease and kidney disease. Since we are called to be the salt of the earth, we need to be the right amount because we don't want to cause these types of complications in the spirit of a person either.

Ok, so how can we be too salty? Well, from personal experience, I know that a church become too salty for me when too many rules are put upon me to the point I felt restricted in my praise because I was more concerned with what type of clothing I had on, my presentation, address of the church and other rules that have nothing to do with salvation and getting you to heaven but are there as tradition and make others comfortable. The people were looking back on me, a babe in Christ at the time, judging by what their standards were and they were more occupied with me than with their own salvation. I was trying to look forward and up to the cross while they were causing me to look down and be ashamed by not knowing or following all of the rules. I was hurt and I fled.

If you are too salty, you can cause someone a lot of pain. Think of it this way: if you have a cut and you put salt in it, it's going to hurt. Some salt is good to help clean a wound, but too much salt can cause extra unnecessary hurt. If a person comes hurt to the church and is broken knowing they need Christ and that they have been sinful, they do not need someone to critique them on if their skirt it to the knee or below the knee. It may be all they can do to simply make it to church. Your over-saltiness can push them from church, Christ, and even their salvation. If this happens, then they miss out on the comfort, joy, peace, forgiveness, and blessings God has for them. If they are pushed hard enough, they can even be pushed to death: back into the world or if they are unsaved, your extra salt can push them from accepting Christ, and who knows, they could be hit by a car and die after speaking with you and spend an eternity in hell because you were too salty. Salvation is simple, you don't need to add to it. Christ died on the cross. Anything extra is extra salt.

Now suppose, someone encountered an over-salty person, but later became saved anyway by the grace of God. Then they have the hurt and misperception to be plucked out of them by God. You, if you are a Christian who's been saved for some time, know what it feels like when God plucks a problem out of you. It hurts! It sucks! It does not feel good! Why would you ever want to inflict that upon anyone else? The solution, don't be too salty.

Christ already has the perfect amount of salt in his plan to draw people to want a drink of his eternal water (John 4). If you sow salt into the life of a person, when they come to Christ, that salt will have to be dug out somehow. Salt only comes out of water one way: by evaporating the water by heat (boiling) and scraping the water out of the pot and putting fresh water back in. If you put too much salt on a person, you subject them to more painful purifying.

Imitate how Jesus interacted with the Samaritan woman in John 4. He didn't throw a bunch of rules and judgements (salt) at her. He just presented her living water. The people who are lost are asking for living water, not salt water (John 4:15)! If what you speak to people is not the salvation of Jesus Christ on the cross, then you might as well be speaking cursing upon people and James makes it clear you can't have salt water and fresh water come from the same source (3:12).

Look to the cross, as Jesus did, and you will draw others. When you become truly saved, you submit yourself to God and agree to do as He commanded. When you submit, you can cause others to become saved. Esther submitted to the king and to her uncle Mordecai and because of this, the Jews were saved. Jesus submitted to God and now millions of people have been saved.

The message is simple: Christ submitted to God, died, rose again and all you need to do is believe in your heart, confess with your mouth and serve the Lord with all your heart. Everything else is extra seasoning to a perfect meal.

Scrambled Eggs

Hello All,

I have been feeling like scrambled eggs for the past few days. I started to feel better this morning after a pretty good prayer session last night, but I still feel a little bit scrambled. I have a friend of mine, a young man (who for anonymity we'll refer to as Kgosi), who I have liked in the past but was separated from for a variety of reasons. We had both expressed our liking of each other, but then he sort of dropped out of my little world and I just let God handle it. Well, he's reappeared in my life very recently and he just seems to be perfect, again. However, he thinks one of my closest friends, Karissa (name also changed) is the one God has ordained for his wife, which doesn't match up with what she has told me about who she knows to be her husband. Plus, they dated previous to our attraction, but not our acquaintance, and he broke up with her as I recall; but he still has feelings for me.

Anyway, I just don't know what to do. I've been praying and seeking God for what my assignment is in his life and what I'm to do. The answer I've been given so far is to intercede on his behalf for God's glory to be magnified and manifested in his life, which is something I want for him. I feel like I'm falling in love with him, if I haven't already, and it is a very precarious position for me. I've dated friends before and lost those friendships, dated my girl friends' exes and lost those friendships and come out as the one most hurt and with the most lost. I really feel like scrambled eggs. I don't know how else to put it. I know what I want, I am seeking to know what God wants, what Kgosi wants, and what I'm supposed to be doing.

He really is McDreamy to me. Spiritually, he's a serious man of God who is so blessed, anointed and favored. He's family oriented and wants just as many kids as I do, more even, and we both want big families; we are so similar in our views on what family should be like and how we would hope to be able to interact with our spouses once married; we can literally sit and talk for hours on end and it not feel like it's been hours. He is so intelligent, giving, kind and caring; plus he is a perfect gentleman and extremely well educated. He takes care of himself and doesn't rely upon his parents for support and he has a job that is just amazing for someone his age. Physically, he's tall with beautiful skin, broad shouldered, and athletic. His eyes are dark like mine and he has a beautiful, slightly goofy laugh. I just so wish that he would step towards me even though I don't want him or my friend to lose out on their blessing if God has ordained them to be together and I don't want to be in the middle of that.

I want to talk to him about all of this but he's out of the state on business right now and I feel like this needs to be an in person type of thing and also, I don't know how to breech the subject. The man is supposed to determine the direction of the relationship and I don't want to move out of my role. I'm also frustrated because while he tells me all of these beautiful things you want to hear as a woman, I'm not the one he's truly pursuing in his heart because he believes Karissa is his mate. I don't like being the distraction. I want to be the one who's chased and not played around with. I really feel like I'm being played around with, not intentionally of course, but I'm too awesome of a person to only be sought half-heartedly.

Too often I've been the girlfriend material. Yes, I was presentable to moms, but I want to be the wife, not a girlfriend. I want to be married in God's time, but I want it to be a bit quicker. I know the theory that you meet your one when you're not looking for him and that the man is to find the woman and all of that; and I know that I must not be ready/my husband's not ready or we'd be planning right now for October or November, lol! But seriously, I wish it was Kgosi. Maybe it's because he's right in front of me. I don't know. I just don't know.

Please pray for me and for God to guide me and show me what my assignment is in Kgosi's life and his assignment in mine.

Love ya'll!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Hello! I am A.L.I.E.N.

Hello everyone out there in cyberspace!

You all probably don't know me, but that's ok. I am Jess aka A.L.I.E.N. You may wonder, why is she alien? Is that some sort of odd nickname? Well not really. You see, I am the president of a Christian Sorority and that's my line name. It's like a nickname in the Greek system, but since our organization is Christian and not Greek we base if off of Genesis 17:5 when Abram received his new name to be called Abraham; you can also see this when Jesus called Simon Peter (John 1:42).

A.L.I.E.N. is an acronym meaning "Always Listening Intently Ever Nearer." I have to always be listening to God all of the time because I am a stranger in this land (Phil. 3:20) and also because I am not accustomed to the "Christian Realm." I used to be an atheist and came to put my life in the hands of Jesus Christ (but that's a story for another day). I didn't really grow up in the church so a lot the customs and rules are foreign to me since I am a foreigner on this earth and thus, I need to listen to God intently all of the time to know what matches up with His word and what doesn't. You may think I'm crazy because I listen to God speak to me. Well, He is the most awesome friend you could ever have (John 15:15) and He talks a lot, believe me. Just like you talk to your earthly friends, you can talk to Him as your heavenly Friend, if you know Him. If you don't, checkout Romans 10:9-10 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans%2010:9-10;&version=31;). Anyhoo, the "Ever Nearer" part. What does that mean you ask? Well when I listen to God and talk with Him and do as He tells me to, I get nearer and nearer to Him, to being like Him and going home (Phil. 3:20, again).

I am certainly glad to meet you, and I hope you come back and visit again. I just wanted to introduce myself a bit so stay tuned to how crazy and awesome my summer is going to be!

Love you all!




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